Renewal

It’s been a while. I hate to say it, but the only reason I’m writing is because I can’t sleep (as some would say, "what else is new?") I don’t have any pictures to add, and that’s usually what reminds me to write. And I finally rented Julie & Julia tonight, and it reminded me that I have a blog to keep up. While recovering at my Dad’s house after surgery, I had a lot of time to think about a lot of things. One of which was my living situation. I was going to live with a buddy of a buddy that had just bought a house, and needed a roommate. The more I thought about it, the more I started looking into places of my own. I was tired of going from one place to another to help someone out for a little while. It was convenient for me, because I didn’t have to commit to anything. But, I figure there’s nothing wrong with a little commitment once in awhile. Only down-side is that it’s more expensive. But I decided I didn’t care. Turns out, there was a place on the north side that was cheaper than I could ever dream. AND, it’s safe and convenient. The worst thing in the world is when I get home from a late flight and don’t have anything close to get the things I need before I jump on a plane the next morning, or I’m worried I’ll wake a roommate up. I don’t think I’ll have much of a problem with that anymore. I moved in a little over a week ago and it already feels like home. Though – it’s taken a while. Most things I own, hiding in my storage unit, are things I had in college. Most of those things don’t exactly “fit” very well with me now. It’s been fun building a home (a small one, mind you, but still a home) that’s all mine. I doubt I’ll have any visitors, but I’d still like my place to be creative and very “Lindy”.

Along with the idea of an apartment, came several other transitions. I had a bunch of interesting (sometimes Percocet-induced) conversations since I’ve been home. I’ve enjoyed every one of them. There’s something to be said about someone bringing over 15 novels for you to read, because she knows you can’t do anything but read, write and play video games all day. Not to mention, the person who wants to take the day off of work to drive you to the hospital and back. And, my personal favorite, the people who don’t take any action at all…but you know they are thinking about you. At least you hope so. It’s a very interesting thing, being sick and helpless. Not only is it unpleasant, but I think a person is forever changed because of it. I know it’s dramatic, but before my dad came and picked me up from my apartment in Indy and drove me to his house before the surgery, I was in such a dark place. I was unstable emotionally and literally all alone in the world. It’s a place I hope I never see again.

I think my challenge is that I never ask for what I really need. I’m one of those people that would rather do what I need to do and not bother or upset anyone. I always think, “They have better things to do” and “I’m not important enough to ask someone to do that for me”, or “they would never tell me the truth anyway”. Now I’ve realized…there is only one way to find out if you’re worth it or not. Ask.

Next, was the realization that a lot of physical things need to change in my life. My lifestyle has changed to try and facilitate weight loss, and other measures to be sure I never experience that kind of pain again.

I feel like a renewed person…but more importantly, I feel like I’m defining myself. Let’s find out who Lindy really is. It’s funny – most people in my life probably won’t notice any change at all. I guess this blog brings out everything, doesn’t it?!