I've had a lot of time on my hands here.....and I've come up with THE TOP FIVE THINGS NOT TO DO IN AN AIRPORT OR AIRPLANE!!
1.) When walking through a crowded terminal, on a long stretch of white tile with restaurants and/or stores on either side, DO NOT change direction suddenly without looking behind you to see if someone will run into you. I SWEAR! I can't tell you how many people get run over by the linebacker that is Lindy Stevens when this happens. Spare yourself, because it hurts you - it just makes me mad!
2.) In most airports (even in Indianapolis now!), there are people-movers. Much like horizontal escalators. These are not meant to replace the act of walking...they are to speed up the act of walking, to enable you to get to your destination quicker. DO NOT get on one of those and stop. You know what?! You're allowed to stop, as long as you get over to the right and stagger yourself away from the a-hole that is stopped on the left up ahead. IF NOT - I will stand directly behind you and scream - "EXCUSE ME!!"
3.) Be polite. DO NOT burp out loud - you are not at home. (Just so you know - even at home, that's not very flattering.)
4.) When the plane pulls up to the gate and the pilot turns off the seat belt sign... Go ahead - stand up and stretch...as long as you keep in mind that we will not even make a movement to leave the plane for another 6 minutes, at least. DO NOT stand up in the aisle with everyone else and their brothers, where you only have about 1cm of space to yourself, and start getting your carry-on luggage down. YOU DON'T HAVE ROOM! You will hit someone in the head and get a dirty look. Especially if it's a stroller that you were supposed to check anyway - jerk.
5.) We all have to wait for our luggage. Not one person is unique in this regard. If I am standing in front of the baggage carousel, that means that I have claimed that spot...that spot is mine...I will wait here until my bag comes. DO NOT stand directly in front of me (between the carousel and my body), to prevent you from walking five feet further away from the chute. I'm passive enough that I will simply walk down five feet to that spot that's open five feet away from the chute, because I don't care enough about it to fight with you. Next time, probably in New York, you might not get so lucky.
** This list will probably get larger, the more irritated I get with airports! Hope you enjoyed these top 5!
Ugh! I hate the flying part of travel and to have to do it as often as you do would make me quite unhappy. Love the post tho. Too true!
ReplyDeleteI got another one for you-Don't talk loudly on your cell phone while sitting on the plane waiting for everyone else to take their seat. No one on the plane cares about your grandson and his video games or how they got you to try the www and get a computer for your home in whatever sunny climate you now live in because you can't stand the weather here and are glad you are going home...oh and I'm glad you had a nice BM.
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